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It had become a usual task to wait for the day of the result, to check the website, enter your seat number and get ready to get back to studies; yet again. But this time it did not happen like that. I did wait for the day of the result and the website was visited around the scheduled time, my seat number was entered and I found relief. 
After having known the fact that I had successfully cleared the exam, it took me quite a while to believe it. My emotions went numb. My feelings went numb. I did not react. I did not do anything that I had imagined myself doing after knowing that I have passed. I did not cry; I did not yell; I did not laugh; I did not swear at anyone; I did not punch the wall imagining the wall to be the face of the reason that caused me wait this long to get what I deserved. I simply stepped backward and sat down on the sofa like I had just arrived after having run for miles together.
I could still not express any joy although there was some. I think that the relationship between joy and relief is somewhat like the demand curve. When you work hard, and reap the fruits of your hard work soon enough; there is more of joy and less of relief. As the time taken to get what you deserve increases, the amount of joy, the amount of pleasure that the success carries, decreases and there is more amount of relief that you get out of the success then.
“You have cleared the exam! You are a CA now”, I heard my wife say. I said, “Yeah” in the lowest possible voice. My wife actually took a picture of me to capture the moment. My mother, my sister, my wife everyone had great smiles on their faces. My mother was the one who had actually put my number and clicked to get the results that day as she believed strongly that the day was lucky for her. It turned out that the day was really very lucky for her, for me, for everyone in our home. She went inside to offer ‘Prasad’ to the God. My father called me up from the office. I could feel how happy was he to know that his son was finally a CA like him. My cell phone went on ringing call after call. I felt as if it was my birthday. Actually it was; of me as a CA.
The parties, the get-togethers were to follow on that day and for more days thereafter. My mind was now thinking about the job and the career further, instead of the ‘exam – result – study’ cycle. I was slowly getting back to my senses.
I had to go to office. I got dressed up. But there was something that I wanted to do. Something that I really wanted to do. I took out the fire crackers that were left over during Diwali. The ever popular ‘Vulcano’. My favourite. I rushed downstairs with a matchbox and 3 vulcanos. I placed them in a line at some distance.  I lit a match and swung it sideways to make sure all the three vulcanos get lit. Then the three of them exploded one after another; like they used to fire cannons to celebrate victory of the king. Vulcanos... to express the silent volcano of joy that had erupted inside my heart after I realised that I was a CA.
I waved ‘Tata’ to my wife, my sister, and my mother who looked at me from the window, and left for office; with my head held a little higher than ever.

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Tags: ca, cycle, exam, study

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