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Well I knew walking out of the FAR exam I probably didn't do so well. It's not that I didn't want to do well or even thought I wasn't prepared, but when my test easily could be seen as Moderate - Difficult - Moderate was a key sign I didn't do good on that 2nd test, and then the SIMS all but about 2 of them I hoped were practice I knew was a bad sign. And I was right.


Getting my FAR score back at even a lower score than I thought pretty much made me question everything. I forfeited finding a new job sooner so that I could study for the FAR exam. Now not only did I waste $207 and countless hours I was also jobless. Then other things start to be questioned, it was a slippery slope of my life feeling as every category "needs improvement". I even looked down and hated my thighs and my stomach could use some work - where did my 4 pack go? Oh great, now I'm a failure, jobless, broke and fat. Every issue in my life echoed and came crashing up on to the shores of my mind. My positive attitude broken in to small pieces on the sand and being taken out to sea. But there's still accounting work to be done and I tried to answer some review questions for my test Oct 3rd and I started to feel miserable. I was failing these now too. What am I going to do? I have the 2011 FAR, AUD and BEC book and I starte to feel like 3 test 2 months is that too much? Can I push off BEC to Jan and not worry I have 2011 and not 2012 materials. But if I don't, what if I fail those? How much can I afford to lose? 


My solution was presented to my husband: I was going to move to South America and do one of those volunteer things were they pay your living but do not pay you. I'm not sure why, but he didn't go for it. Solution #2: I ride my bike from the tip of South America to the top of South America over a year and get sponsors (of course he was invited). He also didn't go for that, even though this is like the 2nd time I presented him this idea. Okay, okay #3: We move to Belgium and we live off his parents until he gets a job to support both of us. I'm starting to feel as if he doesn't like any of my ideas.


Today is a new day, their's auditing to study and then I need to get back and study for FAR...and figure out what to do about BEC...and maybe what to do about a job. I've had a lot of call backs but nothing on the table yet. I went to the Phoenix mine the other day which has a lucky pot, I rubbed it for two things. I could use the luck right now so please let the lucky pot be real.


I pretty much know where I went wrong on FAR and will do my best not to make those same mistakes on that test or the rest of the CPA exam. I shouldn't have been so surprised to find I didn't pass, but it still felt like someone shot me in an awkward place - you know where it hurts like hell but it doesn't kill you kind of zone.


Yesterday was a bad day but I hope I learned my lesson and will be better for it.






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Comment by CPA Exam Club on September 29, 2011 at 11:12am
Thank you for writing this, I hope things are getting better for you.  Thanks for helping others with your post!

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